Feedback is a valuable source of information. If we welcome feedback, we can not only self-improve but also help enhance processes and relationships. For me, one of the most important underlying beliefs is “You are ok, I am ok”. If you respect the other one, you can concentrate on a person’s action instead of attacking them personally.
Feedback should be given immediately if possible. The person giving feedback should own his/her statements and say things like “I feel …”, “for me this means…” or “I find…”. It is a good idea to make suggestions on how to improve the situation and strive for a win-win situation.
You might also want to invite the other person to self-assess. Of course, it is possible that he/she reacts in a self-defensive manner. Be prepared for this!
The person receiving feedback could ask what solutions his/her counterpart has in mind. Whatever feelings are triggered, he/she should remember that feedback is a great chance to develop. If you manage to even feel grateful for it, you might end the conversation with a heartfelt “thank you”.